Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
