i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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