I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just forgot I was standing up.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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