you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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