One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come you make the beer taste better
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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