last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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