OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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