Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
