I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
