2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
