that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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