we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
