Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
