He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
