Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
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Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.