Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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