a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My vagina is very pro this idea