Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
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You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize