Sponge bath it is.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.