Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
