Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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