I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
