I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
