Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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