Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
