I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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