did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
