Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
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Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
All the doctor said was why
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize