SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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