Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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