I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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