I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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