I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
