he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
