Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
