how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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