Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
thus making me awesome and them whores
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
