Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
