Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When are your genitals available?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
