I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
