I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
