Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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