Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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