He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
