This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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