I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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