1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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