My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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