worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
