So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I understand Curling. That high.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
