One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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