I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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