Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
