I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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