Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
