Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
