just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
