Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
