Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
