He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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