I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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