It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
