He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
