ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
