I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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