he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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