There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i love accidental penises.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
