Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
